making plans
Isn't it amazing how things can change in the course of a day? I woke up this morning to the gloominess and the humidity and all those trivial little things that can make your day hell started to fall upon me. I was running late, I didnt feel like going to work at all, the percent of rain was rediculous, my only clean kakhi pair of pants were wrinkled and my hair just absolutely would not cooperate. I got to work exactly on time however, and things started to look up from there. I had much more energy today than yesterday. Must have been that pre-pre menstrual syndrome exhaustion. It happens every month..and every month I think "what the hell is wrong with me". Ahh the joys of being a woman. There was an actual moment when I first got to work where I had to actually say to myslef "Amy, you have to be in a good mood....it's your job" and afterthat I was fine. I was on such a roll complimenting and being animated (what I like to call barney mode) that when I got to the garage to pay the parking attendant I said with telly tubby like enthusiasm "very good!". I'm gonna have to watch that.
Anyway, the rest of the day pretty much drug along with nothing exciting except for a small victory on my part....self control. I've been on the St. Jude diet now for 4 days and I've been good all 4 days. Driving home from work I was starving since I hadn't eaten in over 4 hours and my eggbeaters and Wava cracker was long gone. I swung by Blockbuster to drop off some movies before my 'grace period' is up (no late fees...whatever) and considered getting another movie and some sweets to spend the afternoon with. All in one moment I reconsidered and decided to make the right decision for once. So I drove home and ate what I was supposed to eat. I did watch alot of tv today but I ate well all day so I'll give myself a little slack. Just now in the shower I was playing out my weight loss goals....maybe just a little obsessively...but gimmie a break.
Here they are...
By the time D comes back from Main I'd like to have lost 15 pounds, I'm already 5 pounds into that goal!
When he leaves 3 weeks later and school starts I'd like to have lost 5 more pounds. Thats not unreasonable...
When I go home for Jeane's wedding I'd like to have lost about 10-15 more pounds.
And when we go home for Christmas I'd like to have lost 5-10 more pounds.....I'm hoping the holidays at home don't do me in but I suspect having to try on wedding dresses will help a great deal.
Anyway, thats the plan...hold me to it ok?
posted by Amy @ 10:42 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I noticed as I read through your blog that the topic of food appears frequently. I grew up in a family that used food emotionally and I'll eat food for lot's of reasons besides being hungry. I'm also, possibly half girl, considering how much I obsess about my less than perfect body and have "fat" days. I married a wonderful woman, Shannon, who was anorexic in junior high. She's a Registered Dietitian and Body Image Consultant now and helps people keep their body healthy while dealing with food issues. She's helping me realize how to properly use food rather than compulsively. She's also told me that having an eating disorder is like being an alcoholic in that you deal with it similarly all your life. It's amazing to me how insecure she is about her body even though she is the most in shape and beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Also, being a former personal trainer I abhor Americas obsession with dieting. All diets will fail because of their nature; a temporary change in eating habits to reach a physical goal. The problem is that fad diets rarely if ever offer the body proper nutrition so it's craving it and once the diet is stopped the body goes into overdrive to make up for what's been missing.
Shannon's also helped me to change my eating habits, curbing them to a healthier food lifestyle that I'll maintain until heaven (then I'll feast like a pig). It's working. In the two years we've been married I eat many more vegetables and fruits than ever before and consistently eat less, and smarter calories (I'd lived several years eating anywhere from 4k-10k calories a day). So instead of dieting I'm changing my eating lifestyle.
All that to say, I noticed how much you write about food and cared.
Thank you for your post...it's always good to hear from honest nice people... Part of the reason I started this blog was to deal with my poor relationship with food, so that in freedom I can give myself more fully in marriage next year. I agree with everything you said and for every fad diet out there I've tried it atleast once. I decided recently to stop all that. I want to have a healthy additude toward life and my body, if this mortal coil of mine is going to be redeemed I want to make sure it's in the best possible shape it can be. That being said, along with daily excersize (that I now enjoy and find relaxing and envigorating) my "St. Jude diet" simply means that I've realized that I'm completely weak (with some help from Dr. Alice Von Hildebrand -- the priveledge of being a woman) and that without God I can't do this anyway....so I've decided to let him do it. Since then I've been praying for him to change me and with the help if His grace..and the wonderful support of my fiancee I think I'm getting there slowly. Thanks again, I enjoy reading your blog...keep up the good work!
Hi Amy,
My friend John and I are often vulgar towards each other on our blog contrabland, and in person too for that matter.
I certainly didn't mean to direct any vulgarity toward you. I fear you just got caught in the crossfire. I've left a new comment that I feel directly addresses your previous comment if you feel like reading it.
Also, congratulations on your upcoming marriage. I myself just got married last year.
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